3.02.2015

falling in depression more and more.

I had a bad eyesight and I'll probably go blind in later years. Beside that some years ago I had tinnitus at my right ear. Soon I began to have hear loss. I can't handle tinnitus. It annoys me so much. I always couldn't stand humming, buzzing sounds and now it is ringing in my ear 24 hours. It is so annoying.
Now it is a lot more worse. Especially since last week I began to have tinnitus in my left ear too. It is like a machine is working behind the already exist buzzing noise and I can't hear well for some days now.  When I talk I feel my voice is coming like from another room. I know I have to go to the doctor but I don't want to.
Before I went a few doctors. None of them could find a reason for tinnitus. One offered it could be anemia so gave me ferrum pills. But it didn't help a bit. Others also offered some drugs but because I couldn't trust their treatment I didn't care about getting those drugs.They all told me tinnitus is not a big deal and it wouldn't effect my daily life. Well it does! I want to rip off my ear out of my head!!!
Let's not forget the repetitive strain injury on my right arm (that's my diagnosis). When I went to doctor she told me since there is no problem with my nerves just because I can hold my arm over my head there is no problem with my aching fingers, hand, arm -_-' I think they won't try to do anything until I loss my arm...

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